Marriage

I hear that Jessica and I should be on the back side of the honeymoon phase right now. Thats funny because I'm thinking more about our actual honeymoon right now than I have since I was on it. (I really want to go back. See the previous post). But thats not what I meant to be talking about right now.

I understand that marriages/relationships begin with a period of "great excitement and the thrill of discovery" (Sacred Marriage). I see that in my marriage. We had been dating for five years before we were married. I thought we wouldn't have a honeymoon phase, but we did anyway. Its pretty great. I also understand that the excitement levels out, and the relationship deepens, puts down some roots.

It seems pretty common among folks my age to be a little confused about their relationship with God right now. We were youth group kids. We sang our brains out to "Open the Eyes of My Heart" in ninth or tenth grade with a passion for God that just hasn't been matched in intensity since. I'm thinking the two are connected.

In the marriage realm, I love Jessica much more deeply than I did when we were married, even though that super-high excitement has leveled out. What if it isn't that we loved God more or better back then? What if we were flipping out about really discovering God for the first time... a lot like a honeymoon? What if we're off that kick and not getting back on it and it has long since been time to suck it up and do the real work of pushing and growing and deepening in our relationship with God, apart from the excitement/discovery thing, just like in marriage after things level out. Hanging onto the old instead of pushing into the new.

I'm not sure, but I've got a hunch that a lot of us, myself included, didn't know there was a honeymoon phase, and to a large degree we've been waiting for God to show up and sweep us off our feet again like the first time we really met him. Just like a lot of marriages, we've floated around, not doing anything to intentionally hurt our relationship, but not doing as much as we could be to further it either, all the while thinking back to how great it used to be.

I'm thinking that some of the apathy and laziness in our walks might be tied to some bit of disappointment we've (I've) got tucked away back there from things not being the same as they were. I totally get the logical answers to this stuff, but I'm trying to understand the issues behind those answers; the "why" questions.

What do you think?